The Sexuality Lure, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, wellness, closeness, and love .

However when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They most likely would not admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in city areas, sex is readily available, and that linked here in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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